Collard Greens Make Your Butt Big

The title is what I overheard a child saying in class last week.  I tried to explain to her that food doesn’t work like that, and that greens are actually very low in calories and quite healthy, but she totally didn’t buy it.  Further evidenced by the fact that she then led the class in a 10minute discussion of “Mrs. Wax has a nice butt, it must be because she likes collard greens.”  Kids!

Discussions of my butt aside, during that convo I came up with a fabulous recipe idea.  My class was scandalized when I told them I was going to eat cg’s with tofu, but A and I think the end result was pretty wonderful.  I used these products as my recipe base:



Southern Classic, Vegan Style

  • I drained and pressed 1 package of firm tofu.
  • Then I preheated my oven to 475* and foiled and baking sprayed a baking sheet.
  • I cut the tofu into small cubes, placed it on my baking sheet, and sprinkled liberally with salt, paprika, and nutmeg.  Then I put the tofu in the oven for 25minutes.
  • Meanwhile, A cooked 2 servings of brown rice according to the directions on the box.
  • Next I prepared my package of fakin bacon with a little evoo.
  • When the bacon was cooked I used the same pan with the “bacon grease” to heat a can of collard greens.
  • Once the greens were warm I added 4 slices of chopped bacon back into the pan.
  • Finally, I topped the rice with the greens and the tofu – perfection!


Look at all those great spices.


A and I really enjoyed this dish.  The mix of flavors went wonderfully together and it felt like very healthy comfort food.

Still on my to do list for the evening – put away the folded laundry, finish my grading, make my parent letter to get copied, take a shower, and most likely eat dessert.  Feeling stressed, I clearly need this bathrobe!  I’ve got to run, have a super duper night all!

Other than the classic – green m&m’s make your horny – what food myths were you told growing up?


10 Responses to Collard Greens Make Your Butt Big

  1. Sharon says:

    Oh wow, love the combination – super tasty!

  2. sue says:

    haha that is a cute story. my mom used to tell me that if i ate too many eggs (i loved boiled eggs!) i’d turn into a chicken- i still can’t eat an omelet with more than 2 eggs!

  3. Emily says:

    Haha, kids are so funny sometimes. A 4 year old at the hospital I volunteer at informed me this past week that “his muscles help him get girlfriends.”

  4. VeggieGirl says:

    Sooo not true, haha 😀 LOOOVE collards!!

  5. Allison says:

    LOL – the title cracks me up! gotta love the stuff they come up with!

  6. fitforfree says:

    “Eat your bread crusts—they make your hair curly!” —my Mom 🙂

    Your dinner looks wonderful!

  7. Diana says:

    looks tasty! i recently had an egg scramble with collards and turkey bacon and it was so good…this kinda reminded me of that dish! 🙂

  8. dannng that looks so tasty and SO professional!!! I’d order that at a restaurant for sure!

  9. Sarah says:

    aaahahahhaa, i love brooklyn kids!! (when they’re being cute and not obnoxious, shhhhh, i didn’t say that)

    your din din looks phenomenal! way to incorporate the cgs 🙂

  10. […] Without meaning to, I packed a lot of sweet components in today’s lunch, all wonderful though, be forewarned, more raving is coming!  I ate the little bit of leftver tofu from last night. […]

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